Friday, July 31, 2015

Wondering while wandering.. or sitting still !!


10 Mar 2014


I am somehow just willing myself to stop this long not-so-self inflicted sojourn or hiatus from penning my thoughts to reality. Wonder, as usual what to pen down… Again wonder why this problem has a predilection to hunt me out time after time. I do wonder whether I am the front runner amongst the most confused or then directionless citizens around.



My experiences with the Sick and Needy.



Should be as good an abstract topic as one can hope not to be assigned. But then, was not it my deep rooted commitment to take the path less travelled. That single adage, is enough to will unforeseen or unknown obstacles and as the common man would label it simply, ‘problems’ onto oneself, for no rhyme or reason. But then who ever doubted that the road most and frequently travelled would yield any less of its share. That, has its own and more than its share of obstacles and problems. Only probably, they are easier to choose from amongst the ‘whole set’ of options available, with most, if not all, being “the Short Term maturity policy or investment”, named after its twin-named financial ventures with its equivalent virtues, hereinafter referred to as Choice ‘A’ vis-à-vis the Long Term aim of slower benefits against more efforts, time, patience and uncertain, unsure future, hereinafter referred to as Choice ‘B’.

         It’s now been frequently in the past few years that I have started feeling emotions far more than I have grown up to face or accept. The varied emotions, other than anger or sorrow are something that have not occupied my faculties as much, as they seem to be doing in the recent past and present too. Getting emotional was not the Super-Man that I had conjectured growing up, and always aspired to be. Perhaps too much of emotion is still not a Man’s cuppa, according to me, even today. I still aspire to be Superman. Whether I do or not is beyond the capabilities God and Nature have bestowed on me, especially the toll the many vagaries and exertions of an overly active and outdoor life have had on my constitution.

        But coming back to the point on experiencing emotions.. it is something of a new phenomenon which I have been blessed with, of late in the past few years. It may probably be my empathizing with the people around me and being able to understand their present and even visualizing what the future they will be undergoing, looks like. Or then is it just me imparting color to the rather stark realities that we all undergo, in a very severe and drab life most of us lead and face. I do have to state that a rather disquieting fact I have been silently noticing, is that God has blessed me with a fairly strong sense of premonition, which has more often than not proved to be correct ‘assessment’ on hind sight. This is a rare insight which I feel has to be accompanied by sound wisdom, which again is a rarer quality. The combination of the two is very essential for a satisfactory response to any given situation affecting an individual or a group. I by no means lay any claims to possessing the requisite Wisdom.

This ability accompanied by the willingness to assess and contribute to the betterment of the people around us, is a pre-requisite for any change to take place, for the better. Genuineness is another rare quality in today’s world. Rare, I believe because it is suppressed by mist of us.

All of the above qualities are considered Rare, primarily because of the masses of this country, India, overwhelmingly albeit myopically choosing to exercise Choice ‘A’ for the Short Term, even when it is not in the interests of that individual, in the Long Term. The Wisdom to differentiate, between the two Choices, even when Long Term personal interests matter, is lacking, out of a sheer sense of laziness and indifference by the vast majority. Qualities inherited genetically, propounded brainlessly and vainly and passed on through the gene pool, unabashedly to the next generation to further strengthen the ‘strain’. This nation has become a cesspool of such individuals and their accompanying qualities, that the discerning few are fighting an almost impossible battle for basic ethics, rights and entitlements. Energies which could easily have been utilized for higher growth, gets wasted due to such mass mindsets.

Hope. This is one of the fundamental bastions holding out against such mass mindsets. Hope is tenacious. Hope is unrelenting. Hope is brave, tough, resolute, unflinching and insurmountable. Hope clings onto the smallest of cracks on the stiffest of precipices. It is on hope alone that the Rear guard action of higher values, aims and goals for the betterment of individuals, groups and society is fought.

Empathy, is again one of the pre-requisites for understanding our environment. Understanding the environment is one step towards the betterment of mankind and our surroundings.

Our environment and the constituents of such environment have many sick and needy populaces, in heavy numbers. Most are recipients of adverse destiny while the rest are self created architects of their chaos, ably aided and abetted by adverse circumstances which smell out such decisions to further add fuel to the brightly burning fire. This then invites the oft repeated adage, “kismat hee kharab hai” or my destiny is adversely inclined or words to that effect.















Friday, March 21, 2014

SINGLEDOM : OF A HEART.




The curse of Loneliness is Singledom.
That, which is a gift of being unattached and free.
Oblivious of responsibilities and encumbrances’.. of duties, tasks, goals and aims both material and financial.
Feeling the wind on the face; an emotion supposedly associated with being free..

The freedom to take any decision irreverent of costs, risks and adventures, shores or coasts, mountains or valleys, benefits or priorities.

The ability to swing on a swing or relationships,
So long as one is free and unattached, only.

Because attachment is the catch.. that trigger which springs the trap.
The one factor which can be the bane of all of the described emotions and freedoms,
Sound the ‘knell for Singledom..


‘Coz attachment spells affection.
Affection, longing.
Longing, Company.
Company, dependency.
Dependency, pining.
Pining, Loneliness.


That squeezing of emotions from the swollen heart,
Like a freshly soaked cloth from a bucket, regurgitating water being wringed out, which earlier it greedily lapped up.
Melancholy that wraps you like a cloak of Viscount of Transylvania.
And the hour is late and forever dark in sync with his Excellencies infiltrations.
When nothing but nothing interests any atom of existence or body, leave alone mind.
Except the all pervading gloom and darkness, like the smell and sight of flowers in a vase, past their youth and glory.




But who can control the heart..
It has a habit of slipping out quietly, unnoticed on tip toes..
and wandering off into the night, eroding sleep
returning in the day, yet leaving us in a trance..
wanting, longing and pining for that, other,
half of the pair or simply the company of whom we take for granted.


Must we control the Heart ?


For is it not the very basis of existence,
Of peace and many a war,
Of lives and many an epic,
Of generations gone and yet to come ??
Of verse, in turn lyric,
Of song and ballad,
Of music and symphony,
Of longing and love,
Of Religion and faith..
Of mysticism and beliefs,
Of emotions and returned feelings,


Of finding prose in rain and sunshine,
Of finding meaning in life’s exhilarations and tragedies,
Of finding a new color, a new meaning, a new rhyme and rhythm,
Of finding reasons to smile, joke and dream..


For that and that alone, must we let the heart, go..
Go to find its Soul mate and home !!
Fortunate are those who do.





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ALONE.


Alone. Alone has been the journey so far.
Journey. Has been interesting yet Rough.
Rough. It surely has been, yet the step has succeeded step.

Step. One has to succeed another, for the distance and the journey.
Distance. Is always succession preceded by the predecessor, pace varying.

Succession. Is the last one which is succeeded by the next one. And yet again.

Company. Has been few and far between.
Fleeting. Have been the moments of genuine bonding.
Bonding. Is with that individual who brings joy and a smile.

Smile. Blessed are they who have the reason to and the inspiration to smile.

Inspiration. Is the person or feeling who imparts exhilaration and the emotion of oneness with that individual who brings smiles, wanting and hope.

Hope. Is the longing for the light at the end of the tunnel, the bright lining to every dark cloud.

Longing. Is the desire for the company :
of those moments of passion, exhilaration and smiles.
And for the individual imparting such wares.

Smiles. Are the reasons for steadying the ship in the middle of a dull, monotonous, stormy or frothy sea.
Smiles. Seldom come alone. They need Company.

Company. Is necessary but limited. How does one become alone, successively.

Limitations. Imposed on one by circumstances or others or worse by oneself and incoherence.

Incoherent.  Loneliness inspires it.

Destiny. Is a big question hanging over all of us like one big empty space.

Emptiness. Is how I feel yet again.
At the thought of losing yet another soul to destiny.

Destiny. Is this what this big empty space is ? Incapable of being filled with Company, Bonding, Smiles, Inspiration, Hope, Longing, Love…??

Love. That missing ingredient creating that big empty space. Again and succeedingly and successfully again.

Why the limitations and loneliness in love of all things ?

Alone. Is the empty, all pervading and encompassing feeling, now as before and God forbid again..!!




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Thursday, April 5, 2007



17 Dec 2006


Weall folks the long hiatus has been sponsored by my two favourite sponsors,
Busyness and Moodiness,(heard somewhere that geniuses are moody by nature, if so.. I qualify automatically)
saw a mention of Fashion on a blog, and decided to add my tuppence worth to the billion $ industry,


The term fashion is about trend,


trend as per me, is what some one decides to wear or say or behave or put, differently,
and then carry it off with confidence and panache or arrogance, mentality depending.
And I do believe that this decision to be different surfaces from monotony or boredom..
So then by that logic, isn't it safe to assume that fashion or trendiness keeps boredom at bay, and hence is mainly why is considered exciting ?

Sounds like golf, and is that why then that it is universally appealing, again like golf ? Golf does not require physical fitness, but it helps, golf is more about mental ability and perseverance, like fashion ?
Physical fitness adds flavor to both, infact everything..including the grey cells.
Why then do we seldom see physically fit successful musicians ??
There being no dearth of creativity there ??
So then does that logic apply equally to creativity ?
Besides, need (being the main inspiration for creativity) , as a friend of mine feels ?

The description of fashion by a village idiot like me will constitute directed sattire,personally though, I bear no grudge against the fashion fraternity, if at all only admiration, at

(a) the effort behind the creativity( irrespective of what it ultimately looks like, even wierdness takes effort),

(b) the effort behind the maintenance of those figures(irrespective of the schedules and food being adapted for the shape)

(c) the effort those folks take to go and watch them shows,(irrespective of why they do it)
and that is all without in the least, understanding fashion, or,

the logic behind making people wear some of the things you see,
but why people want to see and spend time seeing something they would not wear, is something that beats me ?
besides the celebrities anyway will not wear any of the pieces on display, 'coz its already passe',
and who by the way, pays for the pieces people ONLY see, and not wear ?

Must be those who owe allegiance to the designers, and sponsors.
Modern fashion is to me, much like modern art,
though the effort on my part has not being lacking, there is a lot of fuzzy wuzzy logic faaaaar beyond my horizon..


"Calling Starhip Enterprise, distant galaxy to be explored, time warp on !!"


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